Just what the doctor ordered

I had an appointment early yesterday morning with my chiropractor, who also doubles as a life coach from time to time.

"I want you to try something called seeding" she said to me.
"Seating?" I asked with confusion written all over my face.

"No. Seeding. I want you to pick something as your goal and picture it so well that you can taste it, feel it, touch it. I want you to be able to create it in your mind so precisely that you can close your eyes and imagine that it already exists for you. And then I want you to make it happen."

I continued staring at her blankly.

"Ok, I can see you aren't getting it. Let's start really small. What is something you would want for today?"

"um..."
A pineapple blizzard from dairy queen would taste good, I think to myself.

"Come on, the first thing that pops into your head. Something you'd like to get or have or do for yourself today."

"um...I don't know. A pineapple blizzard."

"Perfect. Great. Ok, I want you to picture that and at some point today go get yourself a pineapple blizzard. Once you've done that come up with another goal, maybe a little bigger and picture it and then make it happen."

"Alright. I can do that."

"Good. I can't wait to read the email about it later."

"Is that your way of telling me that you'd like me to write about this experience and email it to you?"

"Yep. Good luck. See you in a couple."

You would think I would have learned by now, being all evolved n'shit that it's never really about the pineapple blizzard. Here is the email I sent to my chiropractor late last night.
________

Holy crap. Good job on giving me that assignment by the way. Who knew?! I already know the answer to this rhetorical question. You did. You knew.

In the very short period of time from leaving your office and walking to my car, I had come up with a number of reasons why I could not, would not get a pineapple blizzard. The timing wouldn't work. I didn't want to sabotage my workout. I didn't want to unnecessarily spend money. I don't even really like ice cream. I didn't really want a blizzard (yes I did ) I was just being forced to pick something so I said Blizzard. the list goes on.

Epiphany! wow. So this is what I do when I want something. I judge it, I doubt it, I rethink it, I talk myself out of it, I reason why I shouldn't want it, I dismiss it, I sabotage my chances of getting it.
This is what I do with most things I want in life.

Before I even fessed up to you that I wanted a pineapple blizzard, I judged that it wasn't the "right" answer. It wasn't what you wanted to hear. I was embarrassed to say it because it was food. Food from a fast food restaurant - gasp - even worse.

I drove out to Abbotsford mulling over all this new information and my understanding of it was elusive. I'd get it and all of it as clear as a bell and then I wouldn't really understand it and then I would and then I wouldn't.

25% of my brain still knew that I wasn't going to be getting a blizzard at any point today. Mostly, the timing didn't work for me. I'd be working til 2:30 and not home until 5 at which point I would need to eat dinner, digest, get to the gym and as if I'd be showering and making myself presentable enough to go out to DQ and buy a blizzard late in the evening. Wasn't going to happen.

The universe has such an interesting way of helping you out though. I got to work and instantly got a text message that the student wouldn't be at school today and my services weren't needed. A day off. All the time in the world. I turned around and started the long drive home.

Now what do I do?.

I guess I go get myself a pineapple blizzard.

I drove home imagining the treat as exactly that. A treat. Something I deserved. Something I wanted. Something I was allowed to have. Something I was supposed to have.

As I got closer to Kits, I once again started coming up with things that got in the way. I didn't have cash. I didn't want to use my debit for a $3 purchase. Traffic on Broadway is hell these days.

I let my mind go there and noticed it and let it be and kept driving on my pb mission. I imagined how it would taste and how much I would enjoy it. I kept reverting my mind back to the point - the goal - picturing something I wanted and doing what it took to get it.

At this point I knew that I was doing it. Whatever it took. Re-routing to avoid traffic on Broadway. Going to the bank to get cash. Going to DQ. Getting past feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable walking into a fast food joint and ordering a blizzard. I did it all.

I sat back down in my car. I had planned on saving the blizzard for when I got home. I was going to sit down and eat this thing with focus, purpose and my eyes tightly closed so I could enjoy every bite. It had other plans that involved melting all over my hands and car so I dug in right there. I think that God himself made this particular blizzard. I sat in my car and closed my eyes and savoured each and every bite until I was sure I could put it down and drive home without making a blizzardy mess all over my car.

I never finished the whole thing. I got home and ate more of it. with focus and with purpose. I finished half and that was all I needed. The moment it became less enjoyable I put it down.

Point taken. Lesson not quite yet learned but at least introduced to my brain.

My next goal is to get pampered at a spa. Foot massage, pedicure, head neck and shoulder massage. glass of wine and a day of me. I can almost picture it....

This might not have been what you meant when you said I look forward to getting an email about it but you do encourage me to write so...

In choosing to have it be this email over one that said,

S,
Got a blizzard. Got the lesson.
thanks
K.

I decided to go with the lengthy one because I love to tell a story rather than cutting to the chase.
See you in a couple,
K