Tuesday, 31 July 2007
and now back to our regularly scheduled posting....
I had a realization last week that I think my jaw has been clenched for 33 years. Really, I think my natural state has become having my jaw tightly clenched.
When I was in counselling and we would do EMDR, every single session after starting treatment I would say 'My jaw is clenched' or 'my jaw aches'. Outside of EMDR, I think I just didn't notice it. It was a habit, I wasn't even aware of.
Last Friday I was over at my mom's, drinking tea and visiting. I was feeling some pretty serious to mid-level anxiety about life and my jaw was aching more than usual. (I really don't seem to notice pain, I think I'm too used to it). I was telling my mom about my theory of keeping my jaw so tightly clenched that it now felt more normal to have it tight than not. Even if my teeth aren't together, my jaw is still tight. I was trying to go slack jawed and could see that it felt nice albeit awkward. I said to my mom that I need to somehow become more aware of it and practice being relax-jawed and make that my habit.
Well, of course I completely forgot and spent much of my weekend clenched and tight with the occasional 'oh yeah, relaxxxx' reminder running through my brain.
Last week, as you know, I was studing the Success Principle about becoming an Inverse Paranoid. Believe that the world is conspiring to do you well. I loved this from the get go. Why not believe that the world is plotting to make you happy. I could do this.
Then yesterday, I developed a terrible toothache. I already had a dentist appointment lined up for next week but this is the kind of toothache that maybe can't wait that long. It breaks through even my pain threshold. I could see the plus sides right from the first twinge of pain.
How great that I already had an appointment with my dentist.
How great that I have financial help to pay for my dental.
How great that all the new dental techniques are relatively pain free.
How great that I really like and trust my new dentist.
There was one plus side that I didn't anticipate though and it ended up being the best gift of all.
The pain in my tooth is ten times worse if I clench my jaw. In the past 36 hours I have had amazing amounts of practice in relaxing my jaw with instant reminders if I forget. I see this toothache as a well-timed gift. The world is plotting to make me happy and comfortable.
It's so nice of the world to be conspiring for me like that!
Sunday, 29 July 2007
This rang pretty true for me, I do love patterns and formulas and am good at spotting and analyzing them. And I really enjoy it too. I actually have no clue what IQ numbers are or what they mean so 129 meant nothing to me. I was all excited about being a visual mathematician so I called JM and told him about it and he told me that 129 is above average intelligence. Whew.
Well I googled IQ Scores to see if he was just being nice to me and found out that 129 is the number directly on the fence between superior intelligence and very superior intelligence. It puts me in the top 6.7% of the population. Look at me go!!
Alright, now having said all that, I know that you can't really put too much value on an IQ test. They are pretty skewed and biased from what I've heard. But still, it's fun to think that I have very superior intelligence. I always knew I was smart but very superior is a fun new category to be in!
Here is the test I took if you feel like trying it yourselves. Have fun! http://web.tickle.com/tests/uiq/index_main.jsp
Ok, just for fun, I did the same test again and got 129 but this time I am a Word Warrior. I am so well rounded. LOL
Here's my Word Warrior write up....
Your Intellectual Type is Word Warrior. This means you have exceptional verbal skills. You can easily make sense of complex issues and take an unusually creative approach to solving problems. Your strengths also make you a visionary. Even without trying you're able to come up with lots of new and creative ideas.
Saturday, 28 July 2007
I am grateful for the people in my life and for all the blessings that surround me.
Success Principle #6 (I think) in Jack Canfield's book is; Become an Inverse Paranoid. Meaning, believe that the world is plotting to do you good. Believe that everyone is on your side and wants you to be happy. When bad, scary or hard things happen to you, see it as the world helping you out to get to a better place.
I like this. I am working on incorporating it into my belief system. I want to believe that I am moving to a better place right now and that is why these things are happening that are making me feel anxious and freaked out. I want to believe that the world is in collaboration and plotting to make me happy.
So I choose to believe it.
Wednesday, 25 July 2007
I don't really get headaches very often, especially such awful ones. I came home, popped two advil and lay down for half an hour. I just got up about 10 minutes ago and had something to eat and I feel pretty good.
So I am heading over to LT and JDub's place to watch the fireworks, which I was sure I wouldn't be able to do with a splitting headache.
Why do I resist painkillers? I almost never ever take them so I should feel very comfortable taking them when I need them. It's funny because I don't have the same resistance to cold meds. I will happily drink neo citron to help me sleep or take a swig of Ny Quil if I need it. This policy might need some rethinking.
Sunday, 22 July 2007
Friday, 20 July 2007
Michael Stipe (musical genius) wrote a beautiful, beautiful song called In The Sun. ST put it on a cd for me and it took me listening to it a few times before I really got how absolutely great it is. The lyrics to it just kill me, I love them so. There's a line where he sings.. "When you showed me myself, I became somebody else" that for some reason slays me every time I hear it. I guess because of this whole journey that I have been on, really taking a look at my life and what I don't like about it and changing myself to achieve what I do want. I would love to be able to post a link to the song but I haven't a clue how to do that.
Turns out, I learned. You can listen to it here.
And here are the lyrics.
I picture you in the sun
wondering what went wrong
And falling down on your knees
asking for sympathy
And being caught in between
all you wish for and all you've seen
And trying to find anything you can feel
that you can believe in
May god’s love be with you always
May god’s love be with you
I know I would apologize
if I could see in your eyes
cause when you showed me myself
You know, I became someone else
But I was caught in between all you wish for and all you need
I picture you fast asleep
A nightmare comes
You can’t keep awake
May god’s love be with you always
May god’s love be with you
’cause if I find
If I find my own way
How much will I find
If I find
If I find my own way
How much will I find you
I don’t know anymore
What it’s for
I’m not even sure
If there is anyone who is in the sun
Will you help me to understand
cause I been caught in between all you wish for and all you need
Maybe you’re not even sure what it’s for
any more than me
May god’s love be with you always
May god’s love be with you always
Wednesday, 18 July 2007
Now, I do bandy the word 'crush' around very carelessly at times. I often use it when I am discussing anyone adorable who happens to be in my sight line. Which would lead my friend,JM to claim that I have crushes constantly. But right now I am talking about the kind of crush that lasts longer than it takes to guzzle a lime margarita, which is not long at all.
I have learned that even as far as celebrity crushes go, I am more inclined to get crushes on voices than I am on looks. A couple summers ago I was madly in love with Jack Black`s voice after listening to Tenacious D on repeat. But I didn`t have a crush on JB, just his voice. Other voices that I have crushed on are Brad Nowell (singer of Sublime), and Anthony Rapp (Mark from RENT). Apparently I`ve got a thing for the showtune voice!
As for my celeb crushes they are fleeting and on constant rotation depending on what my mood is and if I`ve seen them in a movie lately. Typically on my rotation is Joaquin Phoenix, Matthew Goode, Ethan Embry, Stuart Townsend...although both Matthew Goode and Stuart Townsend are both a little too good looking for me. My crushes on them are the most fleeting and generally only last as long as whatever movie it is they are in, is on. Mostly I just like looking at them.
TT just called me and I had to ask her who I crush on celeb-wise and she had as much trouble as me figuring out who. She did come up with Ethen Embry though. You can see a pic of him here in case you would like to know who he is. Here is Matthew Goode and here is Stuart Townsend too.
So, apparently, I am not really the crushy type. Too bad though, because when I`ve had them, I`ve enjoyed them. Maybe I just haven`t met anyone crushworthy yet. I`ll keep my eyes peeled and I`ll let you know if I get butterflies anytime soon. Hopefully I do!
Tuesday, 17 July 2007
Here are my results....
Me! I actually pretty much have this outfit too, which is really funny.
Here are my sisters, LT and ST respectively. I can not get over how much the ST character looks like ST. It is crazy! I want them to write her into the show as Springfield's clinical counsellor.
Here is LT's boyfriend J-Dub in his dressy casual blazer and jeans. It doesn't look as much like him as I wanted it to but there were only so many options for hair styles and facial hair. You get the idea at least that he's cute.
Here is TT. Although, ST thinks that this looks more like TT's mom than TT herself.
Here is JM, who replied when he saw this that it was "like looking into a cartoon mirror". He owns pretty much this exact outfit as well. I also had him in a business suit but this one is so much more him.
You can have this much fun for yourselves at Simpsonize Me. But be warned that the picture you load in with have almost no bearing on the end result. You have the chance to modify the picture and that's really where all the fun is, changing hairstyles, colours, clothes, mouths...etc.
Sunday, 15 July 2007
I opened up a blank spreadsheet file and started creating a 'That's Life' spreadsheet. For fun and because I was curious to see if there is any day of the week that I post on more than on any other day. I wanted to know if I'm more inclined to write on a Thursday vs. a Saturday.
I put the days of the week across the top and the months of the year down the side and started filling in the spreadsheet with all the posts that I have made since starting this blog.
Turns out I post most often on Mondays with Tuesday coming in as a close second and the least often on Sundays. The other three days of the week were all exactly the same. Weird eh?
I realize I could have done this quite easily without a spreadsheet but that would defeat the whole purpose since what I love to do most is paperwork and spreadsheets are super fun!
Ok I am sure this is only interesting to me.
So I'm keeping it short!
Saturday, 14 July 2007
I contemplated not writing at all, if I couldn't think of what to say, but I'm in a writing mood and really do want to post something today.
I once again have my whole weekend free and clear of any plans...kind of. I have, as always now, my weekly goals and there are a lot on there that I didn't get done during the week. Which leaves me with a lot to get done in the next two days. I was about to say that it was because of the heat that I didn't get a lot done but that would be a lie. Yeah, the heat made being in my apartment pretty unbearable but I could have still completed almost every single one of my goals anyways, either out and about or earlier in the day before it got too hot. Some of them, like meditating or writing, could have been done in the heat too.
This concept of taking 100% responsibility of your life is huge. It's the first of Jack Canfield's Success Principles. Take 100% responsibility for your life. Give up all of your excuses. No complaining, no blaming, no defending. If you don't like what you are getting out of life, change what you are doing. You either create or allow everything that happens to you. If you keep on doing what you've always done, you'll keep on getting what you've always got.
The thing is, once you really get this and give into it, it feels good. It's empowering. I have all the control over my own life. No one or nothing can stop me or get in my way or distract me. Only me. I am the only thing that can get in my way and distract me, and I have control over me.
As Wayne Dyer said, "All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you."
So there, that's my post for now. I guess all I needed to do was start typing and let a stream of consciousness out.
...and I just got an email inviting me out for drinks and games on a patio later. What a perfect summer Saturday evening activity.
Thursday, 12 July 2007
I mentioned in a post I wrote a couple of days ago, that I made some coconut iced tea and I said that it needed it's own blog post, so here it is.
About a month ago, I went down to the Bayswater Tea Co. to restock my Symphony and Divine Temptation teas. While I was there, I grabbed some instructions on how to make any of the loose leaf teas, iced. It seemed like a nice idea. Well, this week it got hot enough for me to finally think this was the best idea I'd ever heard.
I started with the symphony tea because it seemed the most like a traditional iced tea. I followed the directions on brewing, steeping, cooling and chilling the tea and then poured it into a glass full of ice and squeezed some lemon over it....wow! So refreshing and delightful. I loved it. The pitcher I had made lasted me about 3 days (I could have polished it off in a day but I was nursing it to make it last longer) Once that pitcher was done, I decided to try another flavour.
Coconut was next. I followed the same directions and felt like this could go either way for me. It might be great, it might be weird. I poured myself a glass over ice, skipped the lemon (it seemed strange to add it) and took a sip. I took another sip....and another. I couldn't quite decide how I felt about it. It was definitely refreshing and different but was it as good as the symphony. I tried my second glass with some lemon and liked it a bit better.
It was the third glass that won me over, because instead of lemon, I squeezed some lime over it. Well, who knew that would make all the difference in the world. As I closed my eyes, sipping away, dreaming of beaches, I realized how obvious lime should have been to the mix. Lime and coconut. The perfect combination. It smells like a vacation. It smells like sunscreen and margaritas. It smells like hand lotion from the Body Shop that LS and I used to love. We'd lather it on and close our eyes and dream of beer. It's such a great combination that someone even wrote a song about it "You put the lime in the coconut and drink em both up."
(I just double checked the lyrics on that and it looks like the lime and coconut was the cause of a bellyache and also the remedy for it - go figure)
So for any of you out there who have loose leaf tea at home - this is how you make it iced...
For Black tea
Use 4 teaspoons of tea for 1 litre of water.
Steep for 3 minutes.
Add 4 flat tablespoons of sugar while still hot.
For Rooibos tea
Use 8 teaspoons of tea for 1 litre of water.
Steep for 10 minutes.
Add 4 flat tablespoons of water.
To quickly cool your tea, place the hot pot of tea in the sink or a big bowl. Fill the sink or bowl with cold water until the level of the water comes close to the top of the teapot. (I add ice cubes too) This will cool your tea down in 15 to 20 minutes. Once cool, the tea can then be placed in the fridge to chill.
I have put hot tea in the fridge before, to cool it down for iced tea, and all it does it warm up your fridge so I highly recommend following the quick way. And always serve over ice with a twist of lemon or lime. yu-um!
Monday, 9 July 2007
Sunday, 8 July 2007
I stopped, only to make tea and have my new favourite breakfast (or lunch or dinner), blackberry yogurt with granola and apple and banana cut up over it. The granola has dried cranberries and cashews in it too. It's delicious and totally filling. Although I know it is jam packed with sugar so I'm going to have to cut back and start putting it in the rotation with oatmeal and eggs.
I called JM and he, TT and I went to go see Transformers. So much fun! It was a big, over-the-top extravaganza of an action movie. Growing up without any brothers, I missed out on that whole Transformers thing and even then missed out on some of the jokes in the movie. But not enough to make a difference. Plus JM and TT would fill me in anytime I missed something.
I got home, had ten minutes for a bite to eat before ST picked me up for Jazz Vespers (church and Jazz). I hadn`t been in 3 months and it felt good to be there. A nice spiritual pick-me-up. She brought me home and we popped a bag of popcorn and poured some coconut iced tea (which deserves it`s own blog post). We went and sat on the stoop outside, visiting, eating popcorn and drinking iced tea. It was very lovely.
ST left and I started back on the getting stuff done. I`ve got one thing left and it`s a biggie so I really want to sit, focus and give it my all. It`s from the Success Principles and it is a vision for my future. It encompasses career, finances, lifestyle, home, family, relationships, spare time, vacations, hobbies, charity, health, appearance and personal growth. I need to jot down everything I can think of that I want in all these areas of my life. I have been struggling doing this exercise all week. I think it`s because I`ve always avoided making goals or having dreams. My thinking in the past was always not to dream big because then I couldn`t be disappointed when I didn`t get it. This is the wrong way to think, I`ve now learned. I quoted Michelangelo before in this blog. "The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that our aim is too low and we reach it."
So I`m shooting past the stars this time.
Saturday, 7 July 2007
Friday, 6 July 2007
I am heading to a movie with JM this evening and we might do dinner first so I have one hour to go do something that keeps me moving forward. Something off the weekly goal list. Something I can put a big fat check mark beside. I'm either going to take a bunch of books to the used book store or sit down and do some creative work - Cooptown, That's Life, Success Principle homework..etc.
I'll let you know what won out.
Someone in my neighbourhood is cooking bacon. I just got a whiff of it through my window. mmmmm bacon.
Thursday, 5 July 2007
Monday, 2 July 2007
Now having said that, Bob Proctor did say things that spoke to me and things that I will incorporate into my life. So here are my Bob Proctor notes:
It's not that something is missing; it's that something is getting in the way! You have everything you possibly need to become successful. If you are not successful it is only because something is in your way...usually it's fear.
Rich people do not get rich from one income. Rich people have multiple sources of income. Rich people do not work for their money they let their money work for them. Financial success comes with being in the right place at the right time and seizing the opportunity. You have the power to put yourself in the right place at the right time.
Your results are an expression of your level of awareness. The more aware you are, the better your results will be. Awareness expands with education and coaching. Seek out the masters, read books, find what speaks to you, motivates you and pursue it. Continue learning.
Our work should be our pleasure.
There was a Jewish psychologist who was captured and imprisoned in one of the concentration camps during WWII. He realized, despite the horrific treatment of the prisoners there, that no one could ever make him think anything that he didn't want to think. He had a choice and power over his thoughts and mind. Your power comes from within you. Your power is not external and is not controlled by others. Take 100% responsibility for your own life. No one else can make you feel, think or do something that you don't allow or agree to feel, think or do.
Most people are extras in their own movies instead of being the leading star. Shift your awareness, know what you want, make it happen. Become the leading character in your own movie!
I've written something down here about a "3 Income Earning Strategy" that I am going to try and make sense of from my notes. I think it goes like this...
Really rich people make money by having multiple sources of income
Moderately rich people invest $ to make $
Comfortable/Poor people put in time at jobs in exchange for $
So that's it for my Bob Proctor notes. Once again, I just have to point out how interesting it is to me that all of these speakers are pretty much saying the same information but in their own language with their own spins on it from their own life experiences. The more I look around at the people who are successful and admirable the more aware I am that they have all just figured out what all the other ones are saying.
Bob Proctor Website
I didn't find Bob Proctor's website to be very interesting or user friendly but that doesn't mean that someone else won't love it.