Sunday, 27 September 2009

Where the elite meet to eat reheated meaty treats.

Oh my! What a night we had last night. It wasn't wild and crazy, just a little weird. And by a little weird, I mean bizarre.

A group of us went out for drinks as a goodbye for one of our friends who is being kicked out of the country. I am not sure who picked the venue for said drinking but we ended up at Sand*bar. I had heard that it was the hot spot for the older women/younger men set. (I refuse to use the word you're all expecting from me right now) I thought I might feel a little out of place for a) not being an older woman and b) having no interest in meeting a younger guy who is out trolling for an older woman.

Well let me tell you, this description of the scene was way off. This isn't an older woman/younger man bar at all. It's a den of anything goes. The average age of woman seemed to be late 40's and there was absolutely no average age for the men - they ranged from mid-twenties to in their seventies and they were all eyes and hands. The women were not so much on the prowl as in a fishbowl with the men circling them and moving in for the kill. It was like watching the nature channel.

The women were dressed well and on display for the men who were outnumbered and a hot commodity. We saw an older (65ish) gentlemen approach a younger (48ish) woman at the bar and put his arm around her and she picked up his arm and removed it from her shoulder and shooed him away. I think she had her eye on the young (35ish) guy sitting across the bar from her and grandpa was cramping her style. I have to add that grandpa was the whitest-haired and reddest-faced man I have ever seen in my entire life. I had a slight urge to ask if he required medical care or a tube of aloe vera.

As I made my way to the dance floor to get right in the mix and have a better look and a dance (because one thing I did relate to was the music, it was so much better than what they are playing at the cool-kids clubs these days. I would rather be shaking my groove thing to Stevie Wonder, Prince, Michael Jackson and George Michael over most of anything on the top 40 right now) I was pretty much eye-groped by one older gentleman (I use the term 'gentleman' VERY loosely here) and it made me feel a little trashy. I also felt like I'd asked for it just by being there, being dressed up and by choosing to walk through the throngs to get to the dance floor. Not really the environment or the feeling I want when I go out into the world.

The dance floor almost warrants it's own post. It was like zooming right in on the action. The women were just givin'er on the dance floor and the men stood around it, watching. A few women were dancing with wild abandon, shaking and bouncing and wreaking havoc all around them. More than once, TT and I had our elbows accidentally collide with the heads of these two tiny, short woman who were only a blur to us for how much they were bouncing around. There were men dancing but too few to really comment on.

We stayed as late as we could. Us younguns were worn out by about 12:30 and the scene was in full swing. All in all it was a good night - entertaining for sure but I don't imagine I'll be going back anytime soon.

Saturday, 26 September 2009

First assignment.

I got my first assignment back yesterday and was very pleasantly surprised. I say surprised because I really had no idea how I was going to do. It was the first college paper I had written in more than 7 years and I thought I might be a bit rusty at it.

The assignment was to write a critical paragraph on a short story we'd read in class. Before we got our papers back, the instructor wanted to go over some grammar rules and common mistakes that students had made. She wrote the 5 most common mistakes on the board and I thought to myself "Oh God, I don't even know what 3 of those mean." A comma splice?! What the hell is a comma splice? Or a pronoun antecedent? How about an ellipses? No clue! Gulp and double gulp.

As she went over the 5 things, I realized that I knew exactly what each one of those things was. I just never knew the names for them. Even better though, was that it also turns out that not only do I know what they are but I mostly know how to use them! Whoo hoo!

She handed our papers back and mine had very few marks or comments on the front. A couple of check marks, a 'nice' written above one of my observations (yay) and a little arrow telling me to indent the 2nd line of my bibliography. And that was it. I flipped the paper over to see her additional comments and they took up a full page. My eyes jumped to the mark at the bottom and it was good. Then I read her comments.

"The area for you to continue to develop is content... I really like your discussion; however, it needs further might consider exploring this with a bit more depth."

But the kicker, the part that actually got me a little teary (yes, I really got a little teary) was her first sentence to me... "This is quite well done for a first paragraph. You write well and your ideas are cohesive and your examples good."

And then at the bottom of the page, in a breakdown on how she marked us, she wrote "Writing style - strong"

Writing style - strong! Yay! I blinked my watery eyes trying to keep the tears from actually falling and silently rejoiced. Writing style - strong. I had no idea I was going to react that way. I think I had been nervous that maybe I didn't have what it was going to take to make it as a dancer. (ok sorry, it's an old Three's Company line that I couldn't resist throwing in there. From the episode where Janet wants to be a dancer and her instructor tells her how great she is so he can sleep with her and then when she turns him down he tells her that she never had what it takes to make it as a dancer. For Janet, her passion was dancing and for me it's writing.) I was worried that maybe I had no natural ability to write and writing is so what I need to be doing. To get such positive feedback meant a lot to me.

My next assignment is an in-class critical essay. I am familiar with the short story we'll be writing on and I have a pretty good idea on the topic so I am going to write a practice essay this weekend to prepare myself. When on earth did I get so grown up and responsible??

Monday, 21 September 2009


Sometimes it feels really good to write an entire post and then hold my finger down on the backspace key and watch it go away one letter at a time.

Tuesday, 15 September 2009


My grandpa isn't doing so well. He went into the hospital a month ago when he was so short of breath, he was sure he was dying. The doctors quickly suggested it could be a blood clot in his lungs and that it should be fairly easy to treat. "He could very well be back to normal pretty soon" was what they told us.

It wasn't a blood clot.

The doctors weren't sure what the problem was and had to rule out kidney failure before getting around to diagnosing congestive heart disease and prostate cancer. "It's common for older men to get prostate cancer and it's very rarely the thing that kills them" was what the doctors said to us.

Grandpa has been home from the hospital for just over a week now and he is weak, in pain and depressed. My mom and my aunt have been taking turns staying with him so that he is never alone. They are taking him to his appointments and there for all his at-home visits with the nurses and home health-care people.

ST and I went over on Saturday and stayed the night with him to give my mom a break. L-Dub came over Sunday and we all spent the day with Grandpa. He was tired, weak, in pain and depressed. He moves so slowly and is out of breath after even just the slightest activity. Even shifting in his chair to get more comfortable, wears him out.

It is so hard to see my grandpa this way. He has always been strong, self-sufficient and energetic. Yet, even in his pain and depression, he was still cracking jokes and being sweet and funny.

We just found out today that the cancer is worse than the doctors initially thought. There isn't much they are going to be able to do for him and the chances of him getting any better than he is now, are slim.

I keep reminding myself that his spirit is no different than it was a month ago, 5 years ago, 30 years ago or 80 years ago. He is still the same wonderful soul that I have always known and loved and been loved by. His body is changing and deteriorating but his soul and spirit are unchanged. I don't know how long he will live. It could be many, many months. It could be much less. I have time though. Time to spend with him, love him, and learn from him.

For the moment though, I am on my second glass of red wine and am taking an evening to just numb the pain a little bit.

Saturday, 12 September 2009

If only past kt knew what present kt was getting up to on a Saturday night.

I am going to church tonight. It's a bit of an event this weekend as it's the first fall service when everyone is back from summer holidays and getting back into the swing of things. There is a 'Pep Rally' theme with music, entertainment and yummy treats. It should be very fun. Friends of ours are coming along for the first time and bringing their kids to enjoy the festivities too. I think it'll be a great night.

If 19 year-old me met 35 year-old me today and asked "what are you doing tonight"? I think that 19 year-old me would keel over in shock. Oh! And then the 35 year-old me would talk a world of sense into the 19 year-old me. 35 y/o me would LOVE it and 19 y/o me would HATE it.

Ah, what a fun idea. That is the 35 year-old me talking of course. Although, I bet the 19 year-old me would be as enthusiastic to chat up the 'older' me as well. They'd both think they knew everything! Hmmm, I think I just confessed to being a know-it-all. Oops.

Tuesday, 8 September 2009

A whole new world!

I just got home from grocery shopping and I am ridiculously happy about it. Generally speaking, groceries are not cheap in Vancouver. We have a lot of options for places to buy groceries but on average they are all pretty pricey. Until now, that is! A new place just opened up about a week ago and it is fantastically inexpensive. I may never shop S*feway again!

I feel like a whole new world just opened up to me. And it's thrilling! Here are a few of the major highlights of this new grocery store.
They carry PC brand which has the best tzatziki I've ever eaten.
They have cheap goat cheese.
The dr oetker pizza I'm addicted to is only $3. vs $7.99 at SW.
Inexpensive produce! $1.00 p/lb for grapes. Bags of spinach for $2.99
It's beside a liquor store!
Free parking.
Close to home and easy to get to.

Do other people get this excited about having a cheap grocery store option that is still reliable and mainstream? I was getting very fed up at the rising cost of foodstuffs lately and this just came at the right time. Whoo hoo!

Monday, 7 September 2009

Let the fall semester begin!

Tomorrow is the big day. Back to life, to school, to work, to routine, to so many different things for me. I do much better when I have routine. I like being busy and having things to do. I like working and hopefully I like school.

I am starting tomorrow morning at 8:30am. The first thing on my plate this semester is an English class that I have registered for. Well, not quite registered for actually. I am on the waitlist and keeping my fingers crossed that I'll get in. I was number 5 on the list and this morning I went up to number 4. That's a good sign!

I have loaded my schedule up this semester and still have more things I'd like to do. There is a 5 week evening course on A Course in Miracles that I think I might sign up for and an aquafit class that I may take with two of my girlfriends. Plus I still have Cooptown, blogging and my other writing projects that I am continually working on, not to mention the art projects I want to take on. So much to do!

Thursday, 3 September 2009


I had a dream last night that DS came to visit me. He was a colleague/mentor of mine who died a couple of weeks ago. It was a sudden and shocking passing that no one was expecting or remotely prepared for. I hadn't seen him in a very long time and always knew that I would see him again. I had things that I wanted to say to him that I had been storing up and waiting to tell him. Can we say big ol' lesson learned there? I have told him since his passing and believe that he knows what was in my heart and on my mind.

Back to the dream though. He came over to my house which was the house I grew up in with my parents and sisters. My mom let him in and he was there when I came home from wherever I'd been. They were in the kitchen. My mom was preparing dinner and he was leaning against the kitchen counter.

My mom said to me "I've put the kettle on. Why don't you make the two of you some tea and then go sit and talk." The next part of the dream was almost like a dance it was so exquisitely choreographed. My mom and I sharing the space in the kitchen, her making dinner and me making tea. We worked around each other, reaching past each other and passing things between us like smiles and spoons and tea towels. I felt an overwhelming heartache of love for her and Dave was our witness. He leaned against the counter and watched us with love. We never did sit and talk, the dream ended before then but I don't think we could have said anything to top the LOVE we were surrounded by.

I am choosing to believe that Dave did come to visit me and show me the love that is surrounding me. Writing this made me cry.

Tuesday, 1 September 2009

Cranky McCrankerton writes a gratitude list.

This post is going to be a bit of a stretch for me since I am still feeling the crankiness. My plan is to combat that by writing about good things and things that I am grateful for.

My health. I have low blood pressure, no allergies, no afflictions and am able bodied. I love to walk and live in the best location to get out and do so. I have a great apartment and a great roommate. I have a patio that is sheltered, private and the perfect size. I have a beautiful, affectionate cat who entertains me every day and showers me with love. I love going to movies and always have someone to go see them with. I have a car, I have a job, I have a family that I love and great friends. My grandma and grandpa are alive and doing well and I love them dearly and am so grateful that they have pulled through all their recent illnesses. I have a good doctor whom I trust and respect. I have a mechanic that I trust and respect. There are NO silverfish in my new apartment. I am rarely bored or lonely. I have thick hair. I have faith in God and find much peace and comfort in reading A Course in Miracles. I have cooptown, that's life and various other creative outlets that bring me joy. I love to read. I have a subscription to Entertainment Weekly and relish getting it in the mail every week. My roommate leaves me cute notes and little gifts around the apartment. I have a soul-sister who loves to sit at the beach and play cards with me. I like the church I go to and feel LOVED every time Helen hugs me. I get to spend a lot of time with my mom and always feel FILLED with love and comfort when we part ways. I have realized that the people I do life with are my soul mates, each and every one of them. I like my eyes. And my nose. And my mouth. My relationship with my dad has never been better and I love him DEARLY. I can have a conversation with God and he always talks back to me. I like to drink water. (I used to hate it so I am grateful to like it now and not always feel so dehydrated). I can appreciate a good glass of wine or an ice cold beer. I am about to walk out the door to meet my lovely soul-sister for a walk/visit/lunch because that's just how I roll.