Wednesday, 28 October 2009

A smattering of subjects

I am sitting in a computer lab and one of the computers is completely doing it's own thing. There is no one sitting in front of it and yet the cursor is moving around the screen clicking on things and pulling things up. It's very eerie.

I am going to try and ignore it while I sit here and write...

I could be doing homework but I so don't feel like it. I need to write a critical essay of a short story and interweave it with the broader topic of either feminism or post colonialism. Seriously, right? I am feeling slightly intimidated by this paper and very happy that I am only taking one class right now. My roommate is in 4 classes and feeling quite overwhelmed by all the homework. the computer beside the other one is doing the same's spreading...

Speaking of spreading, just this week the Hini (I know that's not it, but calling it the heiney (hini) makes me feel better - as though I am mocking it and making it less of a big deal) - so back to what I was saying... just this week the whole hini scare started to creep into my head. I have been pretty convinced that I am not going to be affected by it. I have no intention of getting sick and am confident that I'll get through flu season unscathed. But on Monday a seed of fear somehow snuck into my brain and started to root.

I watered and nurtured the fear all Monday and Tuesday until this morning I realized that I was taking care of a weed instead of a plant and today, I ripped it out by the roots and tossed it aside. How's that for a metaphor? I am back to feeling confident that I am healthy and will stay that way. This isn't to say that I am throwing caution to the wind though, I am an avid hand washer and have gotten pretty good at not touching my face all day long. I am normally an eye toucher - I wear contacts and end up with my fingers in my eyes multiple times a day - so to have cut that back feels like a big deal.

The computers are at it's like a piano that plays itself...seriously creepy.

Speaking of creepy (ahhh such seamless segues) we went on the ghost train last night at Stanley Park. L and J Dub took Lizzie and so ST and I joined them for the fun. Highlights include ST screaming twice and me getting bitten by a guinea pig. Just a nibble, nothing painful. Also a goat named Mickey growled at ST...actually growled. Funny. I love the ghost train and am sorry I missed it for so many years. I had no idea what I was missing.

Speaking of not knowing what I was missing I think it is time for lunch. I am going to eat and then get started on this pesky homework.

Speaking of pesky...

Just kidding

Tuesday, 20 October 2009


I have no idea how to start this post. I want to write about my grandpa and I would love to do it eloquently but I'm not so sure how to do that right now. Grandpa died on October 10, 2009 and even though we were somewhat prepared, it still happened suddenly and far too quickly.

The Wednesday before he died, I was at work and had forgotten to pack a lunch for my two hour break. On my way to work, I talked to my mom, who was at my grandpa's, and she told me to come over for my break. I could eat there and get in a quick visit with mom and grandpa. It was going to be a full break - driving to grandpa's from the college, having lunch and a visit and then driving back to work in time for my next class but I decided to do it anyways.

I was able to leave my first class a bit early and the drive to grandpa's was super quick and easy. I got to spend about an hour and a half with mom and grandpa. He sat and visited with us and then helped his neighbour Mel, who had come over to grandpa's to fix something of gpa's. As I left, I kissed my grandpa and said "I'll see you soon, Grandpa. Love you." He kissed me back and said "Love you too honey." I had no idea at the time that it would be the last thing my grandpa would say to me.

The next day, Grandpa went into the hospital and right when they got him into the ambulance, grandpa slipped into semi-consciousness. He had been at home with both of his daughters and their husbands, and a couple of grandkids having a birthday dinner for one of my cousins. The last thing he would have been really aware of was family. He was surrounded by people who loved him dearly.

By the time L-Dub and I made it to the hospital that night, Grandpa was fully unconscious and being moved to palliative care. They were keeping him comfortable. For the next day and a half Grandpa was never alone. We sat around his bed, held his hand, kissed his forehead, talked to him, laughed, cried and bore witness to the last days of his life.

In the end, I held grandpa's hand as he took his final breaths and considered it an honour to be at his side as he passed into heaven. We were all there praying over him and for each other. I miss him so much more than I expected to. He was truly a great man and has left quite a hole in my heart.

Love you Grandpa. Miss you.

Wednesday, 14 October 2009


I just logged on to a computer at work to write a tribute to my grandpa and right when I started composing something a bunch of noisy girls walked into the room and now I am completely unable to concentrate.

I am tempted to shush them or at least glare at the back of their heads in a passive aggressive attempt to let someone know how annoyed I am by them. Yes, yes, it's ridiculous, I know, but I am having a hard time today. I just feel sad. And a little angry too. I miss my grandpa and he's not coming back.

The tribute will have to come later...I have to do something mindless right now lest I throw a book at some chatty Cathy's head.

Thinking peaceful loving thoughts. thinking peaceful loving thoughts. thinking peaceful loving thoughts. thinking peaceful loving thoughts. thinking peaceful loving thoughts. ahhhhhhhhhh